Electrochick

We just had a call from the crisis team, telling us they had a couple of very ill people be admitted over the weekend - which unfortunately means there's unlikely to be a bed for me 'till at least Thursday/Friday.

This is a blow. I'm suddenly deflated and tired. I was keeping myself going until I went into hospital, where I would be ok.

But at least I know it won't be today or tomorrow, so I can get on with other things.

Fffffffffffffffffffff

I'm sleepy now (yawn) I'm going to catch up the sleep I've missed over the last few nights.

I'm being admitted. But I'm actually ok with that because I'm going in for a course of ECT.

10 years of unsuccessful drug therapy, at last they've done something positive.

I'm on 'bed-wait' though, so it could be Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday when I actually go in.

I don't have any choice but to be admitted for a week (I didn't want to, but I have to), the rest of the ECT's will be done as an outpatient.

I'm a bit shell-shocked at the moment but this is positive. I do actually think that ECT would be good for me, and it has a very high success rate. And the thought that I'll probably feel better in a couple of weeks than I've felt for over a decade or more - is a good thing.
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Edit

The Crisis Intervention Team have rung saying I've been put at the top of the queue, so I might be admitted on Sunday or Monday.

I'm sure there must be more deserving cases than me.

I'm going to see my CPN at 2.

Hubby's coming with me to "sort me out" (in a supportive way)

I feel like something's going to happen and I feel physically sick.

The last time I felt like this was when I was hospitalised last year.

From about an hour after I arrived, to an hour after I discharged myself, I didn't stop being sick.

I assumed I'd picked up a 24 hour bug - but now I wonder.

Honestly? I think there's a small possibility that I might be admitted again. That's probably what the nausea is about.

But anyway, I'm stopping my tablets because they don't work anyway and give me side-effects. There's enough crap going on in my brain without adding useless chemicals to the mix.

Oooooo another dip and a bad few days there, but it's lifting now (phew).

I decided to bring forward my consultant appointment - but I'll still have to wait three weeks to see her. I want to ask if I can add an antidepressant to the mood stabilizer.

In the meantime I also brought forward my next CPN appointment to this Friday.

Hubby wants to come with me this time because he thinks that I'm (unintentionally) not giving the CPN a true picture of what's going on for me. He could be right, because of course I can only give a subjective view.

Getting really tired of all this.

Thanks chaps for your nice comments yesterday when I had 'a sad', and 'a pissed off'.

I decided to make a valentine catnip heart for the kittens.

Which they loved. It's very warming watching our cats enjoying a toy I made for them.

So I took Aj's advice and took a picture of Toddy with it (not a very good one admittedly lol).

And I feel much better today

I even bore myself sometimes.

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For my birthday I'd like my mental faculties back please.

And the ability to read and write more than a couple of paras would be cool too.

Ta.

Actually, not to worry about the writing thing. No point 'till the 'vision' returns.

Kthksbia. (Sminchin will know what that means).

...and a pissed off.