Electrochick

I'm just back home from having my third ECT.

I thought I'd write a short post while it was all fresh in my mind. I might not remember even doing this later lol.

It's so strange the things I can't remember: how many cats I have (and they look 'different'), I couldn't remember which key was my house key and tried several before I found the right one, the inside of my house looks 'different'. I couldn't find a glass to pour myself a drink. And yet I can remember how to operate my computer and log-in to my blog!

I didn't know where I was or how long I'd been there, until the nurse showed me the note Hubby had put in my bag to text him so he could ring me and tell me what's going on. I even had to ask him why I was having ECT!

My god it was good to hear his voice - he was very reassuring. I know it's going to be ok. I just have to sit tight, and most of the memories will return.

But for now everything is very confusing, and feels strange.

I think I may have pulled a muscle in my leg during the ECT lol, and I have a cracking headache! I'm going to have a couple of painkillers and go for a sleep now.

Glad to have got ECT number 3 done

Later!

I just wanted to thank everyone who's visited this blog while I've been having ECT.

Thank you

You're all cool and groovy

And I apologise for not visiting many of your blogs myself. I've been a bit wrapped up in myself the last couple of weeks

It's been so strange - the memory thing. Hubby's wearing clothes I don't remember buying lol, or where things are kept in the kitchen - things I use all the time. I had to ask where things go I didn't know what day it was yesterday - I felt like I'd lost my sense of time.

I had that 80's feeling again this morning, like after the first ECT. I've also been having flashes of memories I'd forgotten altogether. I'm not having 'flash-backs' to things I did in the 80's, but to how I felt in the 80's. Surreal. It doesn't last (it's gone now), but it's a very good start.

I had my second ECT this morning as Tuesday's was cancelled at the last moment (I was actually in the ECT room and was told they'd f*cked up the aneasthatist's rotas). I was very upset - it was a huge anticlimax.

Today I was given two jolts because they decided the first one wasn't big enough!

Ugg. Can't shift the resulatant headache, I'm cold, and I could sleep forever

My memory issues have been different this time. After the first one I couldn't remember much at all, mostly big-ish things. Most of my memory returned after a couple of days.

Today I can't remember stuff like how to use my mobile phone! I didn't recognise the ward when I was brought back, or my house, and couldn't remember where the cat food was kept (much to their annoyance), and where other things were kept. A lot of this has returned now thank goodness. I've just been out for a drive and had to ask who the band was that we were listening to on the stereo.

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A tip for anyone reading this who might need ECT themselves in the future: Get someone close to you to write you a short letter telling you what's happened, that your memory will be severely affected, and to text them when it's done so they can ring you and fill you in. And don't forget to ask the nurse to tell you about the note as soon as you return to the ward, and where it is! Hubby did that for me, and it was a massive help. It stopped me panicking with the memory-loss.

Sorry chaps that these posts about my ECT are quite lengthy (and dull I'm sure). When I looked for info - any info - about the actual experience of having electro convulsive therapy, there was none at all (nothing useful). Given it's the wold wide web, that's pretty crap. So that's why I'm giving so much information in the hope that it might be of some use to someone else doing a search on what's going to happen to them.

Yesterday I wondered if it was worth it, because I huuuurt and I was very tired. Having electro convulsive therapy wasn't fun. And neither was the whole being-in-a-mental-hospital-thing.

Today that's changed to thinking it is worth it. Big swing in perspective - good I think.

When I looked out of the curtains this morning and saw the sunshine I momentarily felt like I did in the 80's - how weird is that?? Only fleetingly though, but still.........

Hubby says I'm more chatty today. My parents-in-law said I'm more 'present'.

I'm watching "100 most embarrassing rock moments" on Kerrang at the moment, and I'm having opinions on what's on - which as readers of my Classicrockchick blog will know hasn't happened for some time now.

Progress? Possibly.

Well I had my first ECT this morning.

It seemed very quick, and went without a hitch.

When I got back to the ward I cried buckets, but the nurse said that was normal. I asked them to ring Hubby, and bless him - he came straight away.

I'm gonna go to bed soon - I'm very tired and I have aching muscles, my jaw is painful, and I have a headache. That's normal as well they tell me.

I was very confused for a little while. I didn't even remember that the nurse who took me back to the ward was the nurse who took me to the ECT suite. I didn't know I'd been in hospital for 3 days, or much else. I think my memory has mostly returned now (as far as I know lol).

My next session is Tuesday - amazingly they've let me come home 'till Monday night (so pleased about that!). They promised I won't lose my bed.

.........the morning after.

Thanks for your good wishes - I really appreciate it

I've been allowed home again for a couple of hours this evening, which is great. It feels like having my batteries recharged a bit.

I'm having my first ECT tomorrow morning. Feeling a bit weird about it now it's actually happening and is so close.

But as Hubby says, this is a not an end, it's a new beginning. So - being positive, and trying not to think about it too much.

I had a bath at home this evening, there is a bath there (which I've used obviously), but it's between 20 patients. There are a few you really wouldn't want to use the bath after (baaaad grammer!). Oh well. It's only for a week or so.

Suprise!

I can post because I've popped home on 'home leave' for a few hours

Don't worry - I haven't discharged myself. I've been allowed out with Hubby.

It's sooooooo nice to cuddle my cats (and my husband!), and just sit here in my chair by the fire, with the tv on.

24 hours in a psych ward is not fun.

Here's my room:

It's basic but at least I have my own room. I even have my own toilet and sink!

I have to be back in for 9 pm, but I might be able to pop home again tomorrow evening.

I've had the 'ECT work-up', and my first ECT is due on Friday morning.

Bye for now

They have a bed for me at last.

I'm going in a few minutes.

Thanks everyone for your good wishes. I won't be able to post for at least a week, but Hubby says he'll pass on any comments to me.

Later

.........what exactly do I have to do claim my bed?

There aren't enough beds, so in reality they only have enough resources for the ones who've actually tried (unsucessfully presumably) to do themselves in.

Is that the only way to get treated?

This is the message I'm getting from the crisis team who ring everyday, to tell me someone else got sick before they could call me in.

So what that means is that this course of treatment is not actually within the realms of possiblity for me.

By offering me ECT have they ticked enough boxes to get their funding this year?

No real need to follow it through now, is there?

So much for 'preventative' ECT.

Yep - still here waiting for a bed.

At the moment Hubby and his teenage daughter are stripping the wallpaper in our bedroom. I've been ordered to rest.

Oh ok, if they insist.

So here I am blogging.

This was all arranged because I wasn't supposed to be here, and they were going to suprise me by doing this job for me.

This is the wall paper that's being taken off:

And as you can see, one of the cat's (dunno which one) doesn't much like it either

It's going to be some weeks before I can decorate, but I'm very happy that the previous owner's wallpaper is finally being removed