Electrochick

I want to be Classicrockchick again.

The wait is annoying me.

D'yaknow, today we think my personality is beginning to change, for the better I hasten to add . (well it couldn't have been worse lol)

I've had a really nice day today.

And Hubby's introduced me to Starbucks' chocolate frappuccino with cream.

Oh yes.

Uh uh . And now I'm addicted.

I'll be persuading him to take me there again tomorrow. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm

ECT 13 today. I didn't have a nice big jolt like I had last time

Ok so I haven't been feeling much 'happier', but I think things are more positive in other ways:

I'm not comfort eating as much - I've lost half a stone, and my desire to eat so much 'comfort' chocolate is gone. In fact I don't feel like I want to eat chocolate at all today.

I have a more energy, I don't want to sleep as much, and I'm more active.

All positive things

Ok so I had my weekly review this morning. I had hubby with me today to add weight to what I said, and to speak on my behalf.

I've had 12 ECT's now, and the trend is upwards. I've been worried all week that they'll think I've had enough and stop the treatment now.

That absolutely terrified me. To think that I'm part-way to recovery, and they might abandon me there. But I needn't have worried. Hubby did well for me.

I'm booked for another 2 - with review next Thursday, and my meds have been increased. And a deal has been struck: ECT is only licensed for a certain number of times. If I need (and want) more, then I can sign to accept responsibility for further ECTs. And I can have maintenance ECT.

This is such a relief. I've been working myself up to this all week, and now I know it'll be ok afterall.

I'm going to get my life back

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Oh and a bonus side-effect of this, is that I have less headaches, toothache , and (so far) I've lost just over half a stone in weight! WooHoo!

This memory-thing's a pain in the butt.

Hubby played The Wildhearts in the car yesterday. I love The Wildhearts, but though I recognised the style - I couldn't say what band was playing. And I didn't recognise the tracks at all That's not very good for a classic rock chick is it!

After he'd told me who was playing, I remembered that they have a track I love - "Bang". So I'm off to find it now (because I can't remember what it sounds like - only what it's called)

Now there is an up-side to all this. Though I can't remember good stuff, I can enjoy 'discovering' bands I like(d) all over again

I had ect number 11 this morning.

It went fine, but this time I didn't feel like I'd run a marathon (stiff muscles), headache, painful jaw. That makes me wonder if the dose wasn't so big.

There's no point in putting myself through all this if the shocks aren't big enough.

As I was saying to a friend elsewhere though, my memory was more shot this time than last time. So maybe it was. I've no idea.

I asked if it would be alright if I could have a look in the ect room when my course of treatment is over. I'd like to see what's in there. They said that would be ok

My posts aren't very positive are they? Just now I think that's the best I can do.

I'm hoping that it will only be a few weeks until I return to my Classicrockchick persona

I had been thinking that Electrochick might endure. But I'm getting better.

ECT number 10 is on Tuesday. Next review is Thursday.

I've had enough to demonstrate that ECT is something that works for me (yay), and so worth continuing with (as there's a lot more progress to go).

Apparently I'm chatty - I have conversations now. Hubby tells me my peak is about 48 hours after each treatment (which might be because I have a huge f*ckoff headache 'till then lol, and some confusion).

If anyone is searching for info about ECT, I hope you find this and see that it can be a successful effective treatment. And worth a try.

I know I've been griping about the ECT. But really I'm very grateful to be having it.

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A certain amount of memory-loss,

muscle-pain,

indignity,

confusion,

risking permanent brain damage,

and having to put my life totally on hold while this goes on -

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is a small price to pay, and better than the alternative.

So I got back home from hospital a few hours ago.

Normally I would go and sleep off the anaesthetic for a while, but next door are having their conservatory dismantled - which is very noisy

They made even more of a mess of my hand today, and ended up stabbing me several times before they got a vein - even I can needle better than that.

My memory-loss is quite marked. The previous times some of my memory has more-or-less returned by now, but there's no sign of it yet lol.

I'm such a moaning minnie aren't I. Sorry chaps . I need sleep that's what it is. It's quietened down next door now, I think I'll try and get some shut-eye. Zzzzzzzzzz.

All this ECT is wiping me out.

Energy is very low.

The memory-loss is variable and indiscriminate. And causes me to apologise alot (hmmmm).

But strangely, it's also stimulated memories too. This is supposed to be a sign that the ECT is working for me, because it's starting to lift the fog of depression.

I've put on a few pounds in weight since this started (eek).

I can't wait to drive again.

I'm looking forward to having my rakish nails done again. I miss having indestructable nails!

The back of my left hand is a mess from having a cannula put in there twice a week. But you can get to like the sensation of being put to sleep

3 to 5 ECT's left to have.

I hope you're all doing ok. I'm really sorry I haven't been keeping up with how you're doing.

Stay groovy.