Electrochick

I've withdrawn from the course.

The more I'm doing of it, the more is coming back to me, but it's slow. And my concentration span is showing itself to be too short as well. I'm having to re-read most things several times.

I was enjoying it, and studying again, and I think I'm capable of doing the work (I did it 10 years ago - surely I can do it now), but there was no way in the world I was going to get all the reading done quickly enough, let alone do the assignments. I was beginning to panic.

The tutor was really nice about it - I was a bit embarassed to tell her. A mature, professionally qualified woman, unable to sit long enough to read a page of text.

I'm disappointed that I'm not ready. I'd really hoped I was. Another one to add to the list.

I won't be able to access the online journal-searches now which is a pity, but I can still use my student card to get discounts at HMV lol (I like my music) and the job's still on.

This afternoon Hubby very kindly drove me around looking for likely subjects, and I took these:

And the most concerning of all.....
The little red brick building on the right is where the used needles are.
And the big building behind it, which is literally only across the road - about twenty yards away, is Walsall College.

The time of year when the young 'uns newly living away from home at the local university, try their hand at shopping in Asda on a Sunday afternoon.

Always young lads - not girls for some reason - and they're actually quite adorable lol.

You see them all bundled into a beaten-up 'first car' trying to park. Then they make their way around Asda in a huddle, as one, each member carrying a basket with two cans of the cheapest possible lager and a box of rice crispies.

Bless

Drizzly rain. But pretty cobwebs.

My first day in college went well. I'm being allowed to use some of the work I did for my research project on the heparin doses given over hemodialysis.

I hope it'll be much easier than starting a new topic totally from scratch. So this is a good thing

I've just come home from the meeting with my new tutor.

She's really nice, one of those people who gives off an air of calmness.

After only 10 minutes I was asking her to repeat things she'd just told me But she took it kindly.

By the end of the meeting I was nervously drumming my fingers and pen on the table, and tapping my feet - this is new she commented on it, and said that I would be able to do this course, and that I could ring or email her any time. Nice lady

And now I'm calming those nerves with a very nice sugary doughnut

....and, um, another sugary doughnut.

Ok, so it was a pack of 5. This studying could make me very fat lol.

How many unimportant tasks you can find.......

that absolutely must be done right now.......

When you've got work to do.

I've been contacted by the tutor for my new course, and she's set me some work; and I've also started reading ready for my new job which starts in a couple of weeks.

This is really scarey. I'm reading phrases like: methodological triangulation in clinical practice, and parametric data analysis.

I used to know this stuff – I'm sure I did. But my poor memory, and the time-gap is making this very daunting. I've got so much work to do! The course and the job haven't even started yet

I feel like I have several years of study and work to re-learn in just a week or so.

Grateful as I am for the electro convulsive therapy a year ago, there have been a few enduring side-effects. One of these is the loss of creativity. Ab-so-lu-te-ly stone-dead.

I've hardly picked up my camera at all since the ECT. It feels like failure, and when people have asked, I've been telling them I just haven't felt like taking pictures. Shouldn't I just be pleased I've been 'fixed'?

Anyway, over a glass of wine and the X Factor - I've confessed, and Hubby has offered to take me out tomorrow with my camera to an abandoned factory (urban and industrial are my favourite subjects), to see if I can get some inspiration.

I hope so. Maybe I'll have a photo to post tomorrow